Imagine My Surprise to Open the Door to a Land Park Specialist

Land Park Specialist

No way was I expecting to find a young man standing on my front steps proclaiming himself to be a Land Park specialist. He was dressed pretty spiffily, if you ask me. I, on the other hand, looked like a crazy homeless person. In the heat in Sacramento, I have not bothered to blow-dry my hair since last May. Well, I spent 3 weeks at our house in Hawaii in June, so certainly no blow-drying or styling my hair there. Nobody cares. And it’s just been too hot in Sacramento, so I twist it into a bun and clip or wear in a ponytail. When my hair is down and curly, I look like the wild man of Borneo.

I found this guy standing away from my door, almost getting dripped on by standing under my hanging flower pot that had just been watered. At first blush, I thought maybe he was a Jehovah’s Witness or from some other religious affiliation. He glanced at me furtively. It wasn’t just the hair. It was probably the rags I run around in at home. In fact, I go to great extremes to wear what others would consider dumpster clothing. Shirts with holes. Put this way, a t-shirt would be dress up for me.

When I go out to meet clients, I dress for the occasion. To look the part of being the top producing Sacramento Realtor that I am. Just not at home.

He just said, Hi, I am Matt, a Land Park specialist. Just want to know if you folks are thinking about selling your home or buying another home?

He stunned me. Just seemed so weird. I was tempted to holler to nobody in particular: Hey, Babe, do we want to sell the house and move? Some guy is standing on our steps asking if we want to sell our home. I say hell yes. OK? You with me? Let’s get the hell outta Dodge.

But I didn’t say any of that. I started laughing. Honestly, I could not help myself. All I could manage from my lips was: you are so funny, and I couldn’t stop laughing. I’m a terrible person.

You know, back when I got into real estate in the 1970s, some agents did “farm” a neighborhood and knocked on doors to offer their services. I never did. It seemed to be ineffective for the amount of time expended. There was bound to be a better way to get business than trying to persuade people to move or hoping you’re hitting them at the right time by standing on their doorstep. Like, the U.S. mail, for one thing. Who would hire some person who showed up on their porch anyway?

I looked up this guy in MLS because he had slipped a marketing card into my mailbox slot (which is against federal law because there was no postage on it). He has never listed a home in Land Park or anywhere in Sacramento for that matter. He seems to represent buyers. Most certainly — not a Land Park specialist. Maybe in his own mind. But I guess that’s what you get with door knockers.

Happy 4th of July, everybody.

Elizabeth Weintraub

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