The Road to Hana Beats Out Ziplining in Maui

No trip to Maui appears complete unless you take the Road to Hana tour, with its 617 hairpin curves and 56 one-way bridges, which is our destination this morning. We had originally considered a Ziplining experience but that required a lot more energy than we seem to possess. Once you slow down in Maui, you slow waaaayyy down, so slow you almost crash and split your head open in the process. It’s amazing the fast pace at which we operate day-to-day in the wonderful world of Sacramento real estate.

Ziplining held appeal because it’s an activity that so many vacationers seem to gravitate toward and it looks harmless. Although, I did consider the fact that I could very easily climb up to the top of the tree before I completely freaked out. I imagine the view from the trees as I stand on our wrap-around balcony and look out at the ocean. We are on the 7th floor, which is the top floor at The Fairmont Kea Lani. Could I let myself be fastened to a harness, hold on to a wire and zoom down toward the ground?

I don’t know if I could. I am uneasy in a chairlift at a ski area, and this activity is faster and higher. In fact, I was pretty much unable to ski down a hill, even a bunny hill. I stood there at the top with skis on my frozen feet, poles by my side, goggles strapped to my head, ready to go, and I could not move. That is a real problem if you want to learn how to ski. It was apparent to me that I did not want to ski.

After I had bought boots, gloves, ski pants, a ski jacket, a long scarf, wooly hat and for what? To learn that I did not want to ski. I also did not want to water ski. I tried it once from the lake, and when the boat took off, it pulled me forward, my skis flew off, banged up and bruised my legs, and that was the end of water-skiing.

The other problem with Ziplining is you have to wear closed-toe shoes, and I brought only sandals. On top of that, Ziplining is expensive, about $150 per person. Also, there is no way to get to the Ziplining place without renting a car or hiring a taxi, and if I climb to the top of the platform and decide I absolutely cannot go Ziplining, I still have to pay for the privilege.

Call me silly, but it just doesn’t sound like as good of an idea as it does to relax in cushy seats inside a tour van on the road to Hana and be fed breakfast and lunch. Plus, I’ll probably shoot a few excellent photos of waterfalls and Maui’s Upcountry. Hey, there is a winery tour included, too. It doesn’t get any more lazy than that. There will always be another time to explore Ziplining.