Stuff That Older Realtors Don’t Have to Know But Probably Should

Every older REALTOR should know how to send and receive a text message

An agent yesterday offered as an excuse that he’s an “older Realtor,” and therefore cannot be held responsible for not responding to a text message because, get this, he doesn’t know how to text. He left me a voice mail after hours — which means after 7 in the evening — asking if he could view a home in West Sacramento. Unfortunately for him and his buyer, that home was moving into pending status. I didn’t want to disturb his beauty sleep at 6 AM when I received his voice mail, so I whipped off a text message. He called back because he never read the text message, even though he had to look at his phone to call me.

There are some things that an older Realtor needs to know and other stuff that we can let pass and forget about. For example, I freely admit that I do not understand nor can I possibly decipher, even by wild guesses, the international symbols for laundry. I have no idea what they mean, and it makes it very difficult for me to do laundry, which is one of the reasons I do not wash my own clothes. If left to me, my lame efforts would undoubtedly shrink or discolor. It would be a disaster.

I mean, I have eyeballs in my head, so if the laundry instructions are printed to read: cold water, I know what that means. Laundry symbols? Forgetta bout it. You tell me what a black triangle with cat’s whiskers is about. See, you don’t know either. How about a king’s crown with lines under it? There are different king’s crown symbols. Some have a line on either side, one has a short line in the middle, and yet other crowns feature one or three full underscores. Don’t get me started on the squares with varying numbers of eyeballs.

I can buy new underwear.

When it comes to television, I don’t pay any attention to the ratings because they are meaningless to me. Far as I’m concerned, the TV Parental Guidelines are too complicated and over-the-top. Also, because I am old enough to watch whatever I damn well want to watch and know enough that if I see the letters: FOX, it ain’t news. That one I can figure out. But VSL or Y7, a D or FV . . . no idea. I grew up in the era of PG and X. Translation: Good and even better. Now we have an entire alphabet to warn parents that maybe it’s not a good idea to expose their children to, like, oh, I dunno, suggestive dialogue. What does suggestive dialogue even mean? Would they ban: You know how to whistle, don’t you?

These are things that I do not need to know. As an older Realtor, I stay in touch with evolving technology and our changing world of Sacramento real estate. It’s how I win top agent awards at Lyon year to year. I study our purchase contracts and listing agreements when new revisions are released. I can quote paragraphs and often do. Every day I study the real estate market to spot new trends. Always analyzing and being the best Sacramento Realtor I can possibly be. This also means I text. My desktop computer, laptop, iPad and phone are all set up for text alerts.

Just don’t ask me to do laundry or decipher TV ratings for you. And don’t send your kids to my house to watch TV. Useless in that department. If you want to buy or sell a home in the Sacramento area, I’m your agent. You can text Elizabeth Weintraub at 916.233.6759.