The Tomato Juice vs Clamato Juice Battle

tomato juice vs clamato juice

How was I to know I would find myself in the middle of a tomato juice vs clamato juice debauchery, the innate destruction of human nature? Personally, I think clamato is one of the most disgusting juices on the market today, and I don’t know any aficionados. But I have figured out how they manage to sell clamato. They confuse you. It’s witchery. They stick all of the tomato based juices together. If the tomato juice was nestled next to apple juice, you would never pick up a bottle of V8 by mistake.

When I went to Safeway in Kailua-Kona to grocery shop on this trip, I bought two extra bottles of tomato juice, just to stock up. Which means I picked up two bottles from the shelf and placed them in my cart. At the check-out counter, I touched the bottles again. Removed from the cart and put on the conveyor belt. Then I picked up both bottles and placed them into my reusable grocery bag.

After I got home, I removed the bottles from the bag and put them on the counter. Opened the pantry and placed them on a shelf. Upon finishing all of my unpacking and the putting away of groceries, I decided to rearrange the bottles in the pantry so the older bottle of tomato juice was in front and would get opened next.

Many times I touched those bottles. Many times I had the opportunity to read the label. In my defense, it was cleverly designed. You can see in the battle photo of tomato juice vs clamato juice, both bottles are identical. They are made by the same manufacturer. In fact, the illustration on the clamato bottle seems to show even more tomatoes than the tomato bottle. Same brand as well.

It does’t even read clamato. Perhaps that word must be trademarked. Of course. The name of this product is tomato clam.

When you read the ingredients in clamato, you will note almost the last item is dried clam broth. My husband accused me of chatting about Sacramento real estate on my cell at the grocery store. Although, he did suggest that I could add a little Worcestershire sauce, a squeeze of lemon and a couple shots of vodka to make a cocktail. Just in case a thick maple bacon-infused bloody mary is unavailable, I guess. Why would anybody drink this nasty beverage?

In the tomato juice vs clamato juice battle, I think I will have to just say no to clamato. This is what I get shopping for myself. Clearly, I cannot be trusted at the grocery store.

Elizabeth Weintraub

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