Culture Shock Moving from Manele Bay to Moana Surfrider

Lunch Views Lanai

VIEWS Restaurant Manele Bay

My limo driver said the Moana Surfrider is the oldest hotel in Honolulu, built in 1901, but it does not hold a candle to the beauty and tranquility of Four Seasons at Manele Bay. It was an abrupt introduction as he thrust me into Disneyland and split. I could not sit by the water during dinner, even after diners vacated a table that offered a great view; the management could not relocate me, not upon request and not for any incentive. They validate your reservation for dinner, assign a table, and that’s pretty much all she wrote. Mooooooove ’em in and moooooooooe ’em out.

The manager guy was nice enough, he even bought me a glass of Cote du Rhone, but it’s no Four Seasons. It’s nowhere the price, either. So that’s a big difference between spending three times as much for a room. They were also very gracious and moved me from my small cramped room where I had to push the chair in by the desk just to scoot over to the balcony. A pulsating and oscillating toilet doesn’t make up for lack of space. That was a far cry from a 1,000 square foot suite. Goodbye dream world, hello reality.

I’m only in Honolulu for 3 days. Just enough time to go see Pearl Harbor. I haven’t been to Waikiki since my second husband’s honeymoon in 1978, and he’s long dead now. I recall a photo of him that I shot while we were driving past pineapple plantations that no longer exist, and he looked very annoyed. Guess that’s one of the reasons we didn’t stay together. This is just a “rest up” before heading out to Australia and, ultimately, Vanuatu.

It would be kinda cool to visit the North Shore and see the turtles. After Galapagos, any other turtles or tortoises — and there is a difference between the two — well, they just don’t much matter. But the opening scenes of Enlightened with Laura Dern, an HBO series I deeply enjoyed for its hilariously delicious and deadpan writing, featured a green turtle in Hawaii swimming. If for no other reason than that, it would be innaresting, as Neil Young would say, to go see the turtles.

I am thankful tonight for my newly assigned room at the Moana Surfrider, with a quiet AC unit, and a beautiful view of downtown and the shore. I am also thankful that I have sold another home in Elk Grove, although, to be fair, it is my third time selling this waterfront home due to flakey buyers who could not perform, but what the hey. My sellers are happy, they got a better price and, quite frankly, I don’t really care how many times I have to sell a home if it makes the seller happy. I know which side of my bread is buttered.

Like my new catchphrase, which is not exactly sincere, everything is awesome. You say it enough times, it becomes the truth. Every day is a new adventure. And right now, things are looking up.

Above is a photo from the Views Restaurant at the Four Seasons Golf Course at Manele Bay. You can see all the way to Maui, past Sweetheart Rock.

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