Don’t You Get Tired of People Lying to You All of the Time?
Goodness knows, I am no Pollyanna but listening to people lying all of the time is a bit much to take. Especially when the truth would have been so much easier to lean on. The truth has broad shoulders. It will always support you. Plus, as I’ve learned over the years, when you get to be my age, the truth is just so much easier because you never forget what you said. Lies you have to remember.
My mother used to tell me she could always tell when I was lying as a child, but I think she made that up to feel superior. I asked how could she tell, did I have a little white flags that popped up in my eyes? Did you take that last cookie, Elizabeth? No, like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie. Take would imply touching, and I didn’t touch the cookie. I made my brother swipe it and split it with me. My brother would always do what I said. And look at him now, he’d dead. I told him not to die but he didn’t listen.
A person asked me a few months back why I sent a text message to a caller that was a lie. That startled me. She was sitting next to me at the tattoo place where a friend of mine was lying on a chair getting inked. Well, the problem was I have room on my cellphone for only 3 outgoing text messages. I don’t have an outgoing message that says I am at a place of business where I cannot interrupt what I’m doing to take your phone call. I picked the 3 most common things I do, and a tattoo parlor wasn’t one of them. The message I sent implied I was at the dentist, so send a text. When you have 2 seconds to pick a message, I do the best that I can.
But it did make me think that I could alter my 3 text message allotment to better fit most situations. On the other hand, I don’t know the caller, do I owe my exact location and activity as a disclosure to a stranger? I don’t think so. But a simple, “can’t talk right now, please text me,” is a better solution.
One of my best friends who moved to California with me was a habitual liar. She could not help herself. If someone asked what she did for a living, she’d say she was a stewardess. They didn’t describe people as flight attendants back then. I didn’t know why she made up stuff like that because she was a paralegal. There are worse things to be. Like a communications director. I used to think well, she would not lie to me, but people who lie, they lie to everybody. No exceptions.
A former husband, he was number two out of my five, lied continuously. I didn’t say anything at the time because I was married to him. He was a national seminar speaker. Would stand up on stage in front of 2,000 eyeballs and say things like, “I own property in 32 states.” When he didn’t even own a house much less rentals. If it made him sound more important, richer, smarter or whatever his insecurities were, he’d lie about it. Finally, a few years after we divorced, I decided to break my silence. I told all of his business associates and friends how he had lied and what he lied about.
They never spoke to me again. No joke.
People don’t want to hear that a hero, a person they look up to and admire, is a liar. Because if they believed that person, that person must be right. Otherwise it reflects poorly on them. Their belief becomes their own character flaw. I understand that now. I could not, for the life of me, understand that rationale when it happened. People lying is acceptable is some circles. Like the White House. They make excuses for the liar; they try to stretch words and in doing so obliterate the truth, but the fact remains it’s dishonest.
A client told me the other day she wants to work with me because she finds I am authentic. A real person, she said. I try very hard to always stick to the facts, not to overly embellish, and to be straight forward with people. I try to walk that walk. Because I do get tired of people lying to me. I don’t want to be one those. Especially not in business. As a Sacramento Realtor, when I enter into a contract and represent a client, I have created a fiduciary. A relationship I take seriously. I know people like to think that agents lie all of the time, but the truth is most Realtors I know are honest. Unless I’m not at the dentist.